Gratitude in the Storm: Finding Strength When Systems Fail

My friend,

As I write this, we find ourselves in a peculiar moment in American history. The government has been shut down for weeks now, Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and I can feel the anxiety rippling through communities across our nation. Airport delays are mounting, federal workers are going without paychecks, and families are wondering what this all means for their holiday plans and their future.

But here's what I want you to remember: this is exactly the kind of moment that reveals who we really are.

I've been thinking a lot lately about my grandfather and those who lived through the Great Depression. They would tell stories about Thanksgiving during those lean years—how their families would gather around a table that held more hope than food, more gratitude than abundance. They'd say, "the hardest times don't break strong people. They reveal just how strong they've been all along."

Today, I want to share with you not just survival strategies for navigating these uncertain times, but something deeper: how to find genuine strength, purpose, and even joy when the systems we've grown accustomed to begin to falter.

The Gift Hidden in the Crisis

There's an old saying among mountain climbers: "The summit is just a bonus. The real treasure is what you discover about yourself on the way up." Right now, our entire nation is on a difficult climb, and while we can't control the weather or the terrain, we can absolutely control how we respond to it.

This government shutdown, as frustrating and concerning as it may be, is offering us something valuable—a reminder of what truly matters and an opportunity to rediscover our own resilience. When external systems become unreliable, we're forced to look inward, to our families, our communities, and our own capabilities. This isn't a setback; it's a wake-up call.

I've spent decades studying how people respond to crisis, and I've learned that the most resilient individuals and families aren't those who never face hardship—they're the ones who've learned to find opportunity within adversity. They understand that true security doesn't come from government programs or institutional promises, but from their own skills, relationships, and mindset.

Right now, millions of Americans are being reminded of this fundamental truth. Federal workers are discovering entrepreneurial skills they didn't know they had. Families are learning to rely more heavily on each other. Communities are coming together in ways they haven't in years. These aren't consolation prizes—these are the real foundations of a meaningful life.

Practical Wisdom for Uncertain Times

Let me share some practical strategies that can help you not just survive this period, but actually thrive during it. These aren't just survival tips, they're life principles that will serve you long after this particular crisis has passed.

First, embrace the power of radical self-reliance. This doesn't mean becoming a hermit or rejecting all forms of community support. It means taking full responsibility for your family's well-being and not waiting for external solutions to your problems. If you're a federal worker facing missed paychecks, this might mean exploring freelance opportunities or side businesses you've been putting off. If you're concerned about travel disruptions, this might mean creating backup plans or even discovering the joy of celebrating closer to home.

I know a family in Colorado who, faced with potential travel delays this Thanksgiving, decided to host their first-ever "Friendsgiving" for neighbors who also couldn't travel. What started as a disappointment became one of the most meaningful holidays they'd ever experienced. They discovered that the magic of Thanksgiving isn't in the logistics, it's in the gratitude and connection.

Second, focus on what you can control. The government shutdown is beyond your direct influence, but your response to it is entirely within your power. You can't control whether airports will be fully staffed, but you can control whether you have backup plans. You can't control whether federal programs will be funded, but you can control whether you have emergency savings and alternative resources.

This is where practical preparedness becomes not just smart, but liberating. When you have a well-stocked pantry, you're not worried about supply chain disruptions. When you have multiple income streams, you're not devastated by the loss of one. When you have strong relationships with neighbors, you're not isolated when institutions fail. These aren't paranoid preparations, they're the foundations of genuine peace of mind.

Third, practice gratitude as a daily discipline. I know this might sound like empty optimism given the real challenges people are facing, but hear me out. Gratitude isn't about pretending everything is fine… it's about recognizing the good that exists alongside the difficult. It's about training your mind to see opportunities and resources that anxiety and fear would otherwise blind you to.

Every morning, write down three things you’re grateful for. Not big, dramatic things; simple, immediate realities. The warmth of your coffee. The fact that your family is healthy. The skills you've developed over the years that allow you to adapt to changing circumstances. This practice doesn't make problems disappear, but it does something more valuable: it keeps you grounded in reality rather than lost in worry about hypothetical futures.

Building Anti-fragile Communities

One of the most important lessons I've learned in my years of studying resilience is that individual preparedness, while crucial, is only part of the equation. The strongest people I know aren't just personally resilient, they're part of resilient communities. And right now, we have an unprecedented opportunity to build those communities.

The government shutdown is revealing something beautiful about the American spirit: when official systems fail, informal networks step up. I'm seeing neighbors checking on elderly residents, local businesses offering payment plans to federal workers, and community groups organizing resource-sharing networks. This isn't charity, it's mutual aid, and it's one of the most powerful forms of preparedness there is.

If you want to emerge from this period stronger than you entered it, I encourage you to think beyond your own household. Who in your neighborhood might need support? What skills do you have that could benefit others? How can you contribute to the informal networks that are already forming in response to this crisis?

I know a man in Virginia who started a simple Whats App group for his neighborhood when the 202 lock downs began. It was just meant to share information about which services were still operating and which weren't. Within two weeks, it had evolved into a thriving mutual aid network where neighbors were sharing everything from childcare to home-cooked meals to job leads. That group has outlasted those lock downs by years, and it has made that entire community more resilient for whatever challenges come next.

This is what I call "anti-fragile" community building… creating networks that don't just survive stress, but actually get stronger because of it. The shutdown isn't just testing our existing communities; it's creating opportunities for new ones to form.

The Thanksgiving Spirit in Dark Times

As we approach Thanksgiving, I want to challenge you to think about this holiday differently than you might have in previous years. This isn't going to be a normal Thanksgiving for many families. Travel plans are disrupted, budgets are strained, and anxiety levels are high. But that doesn't mean it can't be a meaningful one. In fact, it might be more meaningful because of these challenges.

The first Thanksgiving wasn't celebrated by people who had everything figured out. It was celebrated by people who had survived an incredibly difficult year and wanted to acknowledge both their struggles and their blessings. They were grateful not because life was easy, but because they had endured hardship and found reasons to hope.

That's the spirit I want to encourage this year. Instead of focusing on what this Thanksgiving lacks compared to previous years, focus on what it offers that previous years didn't. The opportunity to be more intentional about gratitude. The chance to discover that joy doesn't depend on perfect circumstances. The reminder that the most important things in life—love, connection, purpose—can't be shut down by any government.

If your travel plans are disrupted, consider it an invitation to slow down and be more present. If your budget is tighter than usual, consider it an opportunity to focus on experiences rather than expenses. If your usual traditions aren't possible, consider it a chance to create new ones that might be even more meaningful.

I'm reminded of a story from the past. During the oil crisis of the 1970s, many couldn't afford to drive to the grandparents' house for Thanksgiving. Instead of canceling the holiday, some walked, or took public transportation to their family’s house. They had the simplest Thanksgiving meal their lives; just a small turkey, basic sides, and a store-bought pie. But it was also one of the most memorable, because it was the first time some of the children really understood what the holiday was about. It wasn't about the feast; it was about the gathering. It wasn't about abundance; it was about appreciation.

Preparing for What Comes Next

While we're focusing on gratitude and community, we also need to be realistic about the future. This shutdown will eventually end, but the lessons it's teaching us shouldn't be forgotten. The vulnerabilities it's exposing in our systems won't magically disappear when Congress reaches a deal. The economic pressures many families are feeling won't vanish overnight.

This is why I want to encourage you to use this time not just to get through the current crisis, but to prepare for future ones. Every challenge is also a teacher, and this one is offering some valuable lessons about resilience, self-reliance, and the importance of having multiple backup plans.

Start with the basics. If this shutdown has revealed gaps in your emergency preparedness, address them now while the lessons are fresh. Build up your emergency fund, even if it's just a few dollars at a time. Diversify your income sources if possible. Strengthen your relationships with neighbors and community members. Learn new skills that could be valuable in uncertain times.

But don't stop with the practical preparations. Also prepare mentally and emotionally for the reality that we live in an increasingly uncertain world. This doesn't mean becoming pessimistic or paranoid, it means developing the kind of mental resilience that allows you to adapt to changing circumstances without losing your sense of purpose or joy.

The people who thrive in uncertain times aren't those who never face difficulties…

…they're those who've learned to find stability within themselves rather than depending entirely on external circumstances for their peace of mind. They've developed what I call "internal weather" - a sense of calm and purpose that persists regardless of the storms happening around them.

A Challenge for the Season

As we move through this holiday season, I want to offer you a challenge. Instead of just waiting for things to return to "normal," use this time to define what a better normal might look like for you and your family. What have you learned about what really matters? What relationships have proven most valuable? What skills have you wished you had? What kind of community do you want to be part of?

The Chinese character for crisis is often said to be composed of the characters for danger and opportunity.

While linguists debate the accuracy of that translation, the concept it represents is profound: every crisis contains within it the seeds of positive change, but only if we're wise enough to recognize and nurture those seeds.

This government shutdown is undoubtedly creating real hardships for real people, and I don't want to minimize that. But it's also creating opportunities

Opportunities for personal growth, for community building, for rediscovering what truly matters, and for developing the kind of resilience that will serve us well in whatever challenges lie ahead.

My challenge to you is this: by the time this crisis passes, be able to point to at least three ways you've grown stronger because of it. Maybe you've developed a new skill. Maybe you've deepened a relationship. Maybe you've discovered a source of inner strength you didn't know you had. Maybe you've contributed to your community in a way that's made it more resilient.

The goal isn't to be grateful for the crisis itself, but to be intentional about not wasting the opportunities it presents. As the old-timers used to say, "Hard times are like a forge. They can either break you or make you stronger, depending on what you're made of and how you respond to the heat."

Closing Thoughts: The Long View

As I finish writing this newsletter, I think of times when I'm sitting in my workshop, surrounded by tools that my grandfather taught me to use and that I've since taught my own children to use. Some of these tools are nearly a century old, and they've helped our family through countless challenges and changes. They remind me that the most valuable things in life aren't the ones that promise to make life easy; they're the ones that help us handle whatever life brings.

The same is true for the skills, relationships, and mindset we're developing during this difficult time. They won't make future challenges disappear, but they'll help us face those challenges with confidence and grace. They'll remind us that we're stronger than we sometimes think, more resourceful than we often realize, and more connected to each other than the headlines would have us believe.

This Thanksgiving, as you gather with whatever family and friends you can, in whatever circumstances you find yourself, remember that you're part of a long tradition of people who've faced uncertainty with courage and found reasons to be grateful even in difficult times. You're not just surviving this moment, you're adding your own chapter to that ongoing story of human resilience.

The government may be shut down, but your capacity for growth, connection, and contribution remains fully operational. The systems may be failing, but your ability to create meaning and find joy is as strong as ever. The future may be uncertain, but your power to shape your response to that uncertainty is absolute.

That's not just something to be thankful for—it's something to build on.

Stay strong, stay connected, and stay grateful.

— James Bender